Wednesday, August 17, 2005

HOUSE OF WAX

2.5/5
stars elisha cuthbert, chad michael murray, paris hilton

i wanted to see this movie for two reasons: elisha cuthbert and paris hilton. the former, because i like her, and the latter cos i wanted to see that since money couldn't by brains, maybe it could buy some acting skills.

the film is about a bunch of kids going to some random football game, but taking the ever-so-fobidden short cut through the dark woods until they eventually stop in the middle of nowhere and start a 20-minute sequence of drinking, playing football (in teh dark!) and no-so-subtle sexual inuendos. one character has a video camera and goes around filming everyone, making paris hilton feel right at home.

cuthbert and murray play twin brother and sister, cuthbert being the good one and murray being the badass one. with their little group of friends, they go to a town that looks like its abandoned (gasp - it is!) and that's where people start getting killed. people die pretty easily, although the token black guy didn't die first but dies pretty pathetically.

cut to the rest of the film where there's plenty of running away from a couple of bad guys. paris hilton puts up a bit of a fight though, which is kinda cool, but not cool enough to avoid being speared in the head.

the film is long and boring, apart from the last ten minutes when the house of wax is completely destroyed - at last!

-LOki

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

MORE UPCOMING REVIEWS

WEDDING CRASHERS
stars owen wilson, vince vaughn, rachel mcadams, christopher walken
3.9/5

nutshell: takes a bit to get off the ground, but when it does it soars. hilarious - outstanding performance by ailsa fischer.


IN GOOD COMPANY
stars topher grace, dennis quaid, scarlett johanssen
3/5

nutshell: hits only a few emotional peaks, but enjoyable.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

REVIEWS COMING SOON

HOUSE OF WAX (2.5/5)
stars elisha cuthbert, chad michael murray, paris hilton

in a nutshell: long and boring, best part is the last ten minutes.

MONSTER IN LAW (3.5/5)
stars jennifer lopez, michael vartan, jane fonda

in a nutshell: suprisingly funny, jennifer lopez aint that bad.

-LOki

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

THE ISLAND

3.5/5
stars ewan mcgregor, scarlett johansen, steve buscemi, sean bean

ok. i had initially decided to give this film a 3/5 for the reasons i've outlined in my previous post "CRITIQUING THE CRITIC", but after a second viewing (and earbashing from the guys i went to see it with), i gave it that extra .5.

the film is about a society of clones that hav ebeen brought up thinking that they are the only survivors of a worldwide contamination, and that "the island" is the only place left on earth that is pathegon free. the clones stay at the institute and eagerly await their chance to visit the island, the last paradise on earth. but, like all michael bay film, this is not what it seems.

in fact, these guys have all been commissioned to be made by 'real' people, people living in the outswide world, as insuarance policies should any of their own organs or whatever stuff up.

lincoln echo six (i want that name! (ewan mcgregor)) is the first of the clones to question his purpose in life, and this leads him to do a bti of digging until he reveals that there is in fact no island of paradise at all, and that all the clone who had been sent there were harvested for tier organs. in one heartbearking scene, a clone gives birth to a baby girl, and once the baby is taken away, the clone is discarded like yesterday's newspaper. it's fucken horrible.

so anyway, his life-long friend (well, three years since these clones are made straight into adulthood) jordan delta two (johanssen) wins her way to the island and can't wait to go. and this is where the story really kicks off, as lincoln and jordan make their escape into the real world.

the film looks stunning, which is not suprising considering michael bay's reputation for blowing shit up and making it look fantastic. acting-wise, the cast does an amazin job, especially steve buscemi as one of the very few characters who isn't a clone himself, but treats them as human. we need more poeple like him around. up until i saw this film, i couldn't stand scarlett johanssen - but now i love her.

i guess what really tipped the .5 scales is the underlying theme - that the new american dream is to live forever, and that some people are rich enough to do anything to get that. it questions the very notion of what it is to be human - is it just flesh and bone that make a human, or is it something more? memories, life experiences, compassion, and feelings are what make the concept of human come to life.

in this film ironically, the 'clones' have been embued with more emotion and feeling than the 'real' humans.. and the human are protrayed as absolute pricks. it's like a bell curve on one of those shitty graphs we used to do in maths; you can only go so high in scientific progress until you reach a point where all the work done after that starts crumbling the human conscience.

alright, this is film review and not a discussion on the concept of what it is to be human. BUT, this film is sure to bring these kinds of questions up in your mind.. and for a blockbuster film to do that is quite rare.

i never heard of the composer for this film before (and i can't even remember thier name), but he does an awesome job, especially in the opening and closing sequences. SFX were done well also, relying on a lot more live-action stunts and explosions than CG... but like i said, if you're michael bay, you can afford it.

see this movie.. it only scores 3.5 for a couple of reasons: product placement, and length.

-LOki

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

SIN CITY

2.5/5
clive owen, jaimie king, elijah wood, bruce willis, jessica alba

i didn't see why so many people loved this movie. stylistically it was very impressive, and the way the stories unfolded was quite interesting, but beyond that it was simply another "gangster bad neghborhood" movie.

the film follows three stories running parallel in SIN CITY. first off is that of haradigan (willis), a cop on his last job to save a little girl from being raped and torn to shred by the city's senator's son. secondly, it's marv (mickey rourke) who's on a vendetta againt whoever killed his beloved one-night stand, blondie (king). and finally, its clive owen (can't remember his name) teaming up with ex-flame gale (rosario dawson) against some crooked cops.

overall it was watchable, and i mentioned above the style of the film (noir-ish/comic book) was what made this movie ok to watch. it was a bit violent and it seemed either frank miller is a raging feminist, or he jsut likes seeing guys have thier balls cut off.

i actually saw this movie twice - i don't know why.

-LOki