STAR WARS EPISODE III: REVENGE OF THE SITH

2/5
stars natalie portman, hayden christensen, ewan mcgregor

as i am sitting in an evidence class bored out of my mind and looking for something else to occupy myself, i wonder when the last time i felt this way, and then i remembered - it was when i was in the cinema watching Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith.

from my past experiences with the Star Wars franchise and the "new" trilogy, i wasn't expecting much from the third and final installment. but i saw the trailer for the "new" film and it looked kinda cool, so i thought i'd give. mr. lucas another chance.

boy, was i a dumbass.

not being a star wars fan myself (but taking a liking to the original trilogy), i went into cinema in two mind-sets: that this film was to be viewed within a existing story context, and secondly, that it should/could also be viewed as a self-contained piece of cinema.

regarding the former, the film provided a good transition from the "new" trilogy to the original one. but with the latter, the film, although being visually impressive, failed to stand on its own merits.

the opening sequence was enough to let me know that, again, lucas took the funds out of acting lessons and dialogue-writing and pumped them into the special effects department. i'll admit that some of the special effects were impressive, but pale compared to other films that utilise CGI technology (i.e. the wachowsk's "the matrix" trilogy) which took less time and less money to accomplish.

i felt as though the actors were being short-changed with a dodgy script which was rife with inconsistencies in dialogue, and it felt as though a 16 year-old had written some of the lines. after seeing natalie portman in "Garden State" (4/5), i was convinced she was undoubtedly a genuine talent; this made it even harder for me to see he put through an excruciatingly bad delivery of her half-assed written lines.
"YOU'RE BREAKING MY HEART, ANAKIN!" she proclaims, as the scene doesn't allow her to actually act out those feelings. horrible.

not only was portman ripped off, but so was hayden christensen. i'm not a big fan of his at all, but in "Life as a House" (4/5 also), he won we over, giving an authentic and very believable performance. In Episode III however, all his acting talent is lost (or not even needed?). Instead, there are "character building" scenes that could have been executed perfectly, but were pushed aside to make way for the anticipated battle sequences.

for example, it takes all but two minutes for anakin to recover from the mortifying truth that he'd just killed mace windu (samuel l. jackson), and then pledging his undying loyalty to senator palpatine.

the script would have read something like this:
___

ANAKIN
What have I done?!

He pauses for a moment. Mortified.

ANAKIN (cont.)
I will be your apprentice!

End.

---

no development, no exposition. just get straight to the point.

also, i felt it difficult to accept or believe the relationship between anakin and his master, obi-wan. another actor short-changed but this film, ewan mcgregor has to try and deliver lame-arse lines and make them believable. anything less that a stellar effort by him would have made the relationship seem even more feeble. there were some lines, nearing the end of the film, that actually meant something. but apart from that, all their dialogue was concerned with petty condescending and empty praises.

there were, of course, some parts of the film that i enjoyed. compared to the other Star Wars films, this one seemed to be a lot darker, reflecting the underlying theme of the Dark Side slowly but inevitably consuming anakin.

there are only about two scenes in the entire film that elicited some kind of emotional response. and i'll admit, these were done superbly. the music, accompanied by the innocence of the Jedis and jedi kids all added up a a truly doomed kind of feeling.

there were bursts of comedic relief, but not via dialogue or general acting (as if), but rather from Master Yoda. some of his seemingly ho-hum antics did get me to actually laugh out loud, but he deserves that - Yoda is cool.

one more thing that i liked about the film was this: that it finally ended.

-LOki

THE AMITYVILLE HORROR

3/5
stars ryan reynolds, melissa george

"...houses don't kill people; people kill people" - george lutz

i'm not a huge fan of the horror movie genre, but when i had read the book to which this film is based, it scared the shit out of me. seriously, it was prob the scariest book i'd ever read.

so when i heard about the movie coming out, i was quite interested. there had also been two or three other versions made of the book, but i hadn't seen them. so i hired the better version and had a look. it was alright.

back to the remake...

i can say that this followed the book a lot closer than the original (but i can't be 100% sure since i read the book a while back). for those of you who don't know the story, this is basically it:
* a guy wakes up in the middle of the night (3:15am) and shoots dead his entire family
* when he was questioned by police, he said there were voices in his head that were telling thim to "ketchem and kill 'em"
* one year later, the Lutz's (reynolds, george, and thier kids) move into what they think is the home of their dreams
* weird shit starts happening

of course there's planty more that goes on, but i wouldn't want to ruin it for you. the film is quite scary also, but not in a "Ring" kind of scary. the editing in the film relies heavily on "loud bang" kind of scares, rather than any real evoking of fear. but hey, they cheap scares work fine and you'll prob be turning your head from the screen or blocking your ears half the time.

there's a dead kid in named jodie, who is probably the freakiest little shit you'd come across... she's a ghost who's looking for a permanent playmate, and unfortunately for this new family, they've got a six year-old daughter. creepy shit.

special effects and make-up wise, this film is awesome. lots of blood, lots of guts, lots of axes to the body - you name it, this film pretty much has it all. the music in the film is also really effective in creating a suspenseful atmosphere.

there was a bit in the film which i thought didn't really fit in, but at the time when i was watching it it was kinda cool.

i'd probably see this movie again.. but not alone.

by the way, this film was based on a true story.

-LOki

(btw, see shaun of the dead :P)